"We will be paying you a little visit next month, to offer you your very own circumcision, from the neck down"
While death threats are routine, I thought I would share this particularly egregious one for my own protection. It arrived several hours after I had sent a courteous e-mail questioning a column on the Talmud written by University of Haifa Prof. Steven Plaut (I sent my questions via e-mail to Plaut and his publisher, the Brooklyn-based "Jewish Press").
I am not making any connection between the threatening e-mail I received (see below) and Prof. Plaut or the "Jewish Press." I am only stating a fact concerning the sequence of the e-mail I have sent and received.
To the best of my knowledge, I have not received a communication by e-mail or any other means, from Plaut or "Jewish Press."
Caveat: the following threatening e-mail contains exceedingly vulgar language.
On Aug 19, 2011, at 8:14, cracker basher (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Hoffman you pathetic little Nazi.
We just wanted to congratulate all you little Nazis and subliterate crackers for doing so much for the world! You are doing great work. Just imagine being able to use crayons to turn out such deep thoughts and even getting the spelling in a few words correct as you drool over a computer keypad! And let's not have any more of using those crayons as suppositories – you need them for important thinking!
Yes, you Nazi crackers are amazing. You refuse to get a junior high school equivalency. Your biggest problem in life is that you have never had sex, and never even found anyone willing to spend the night with you long enough to give you gonorrhea!
You hate all dem Joos because your penis is so tiny. You march about shouting Nazi slogans to cover up the fact that your mother abandoned you back there with the barnyard animals when she ran off with that nice Nigerian fellow, leaving you in the trailer park.
We know all about your Momma and how her abandoning you there in the trailer park turned you into cracker trash. But other trailer park scum have learned to read, so why couldn't you? Is it because of your complex concerning your little tiny penis? But you know, your momma is way ahead of you. She appreciates a good circumcision! She was saying just last week how much she enjoyed a circumcised penis slipping in and out of her ass. Circumcised ones tickle her, she says. She gives little squeals of delight. She says she likes it especially when a circumcized penis massages her belly button. From her inside.
Speaking of circumcision, we will be paying you a little visit next month, to offer you your very own circumcision, from the neck down. So keep a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree, since your Nazi penis is not large enough to hold one up. Meanwhile, you can try to work on your multiplication tables, for some day you might be able to get one of those cherished minimum wage jobs and get off welfare at last!
Until them you can Sieg Heil your way around the trailer park, push your supermarket cart about, and ask people for some spare change. The future is bright. Remember that finishing junior high school can sometimes propel you all the way to a job at Walmart and to indoor plumbing! You have heard about that, right? It is what other folks use instead of the trailer park outhouse where you do all that important thinking of yours.